One Month Old!

I'm one month old today!

I'm very healthy. Let's shout hooray!

I'm 21 inches long and 9.8 pounds.

I am developing rolly polly rounds.

My legs and head are oh so strong,

I'll be crawling before too long!

I'm quite easy going you know,

but that's all for show,

for when I'm tired I scream and shout.

My voice is loud! I'll get the word out!

But my mommy and daddy love me,

that's very clear to see,

from morning kisses to goodnight hugs,

from songs and stories for their Emma Bug.

Life is grand when all I do is eat, poop, sleep,

and watch the wall shadows dance and leap.

Newborn

1 Month Later...I barely fit now!

A Name is a Very Important Thing

Does anyone else find it a tad bit stressful that as parents we choose the name our son or daughter will grow up being called? That our decision can make or break their social life with wonderful nicknames or possible ridicule? I overthink things, yes, but to me it is a big deal that I determine my child's future in a sense through the mere utterance of a few words at birth. For this reason, I have been thinking of my children's names since elementary school. I have names that are a definite no, names that could never be because I knew someone by that name who was awful, possible names that I cannot decide on, and definite names that I really do love. Yet, that list has a few flaws, mainly it still needs to take into consideration what my husband thinks. That is important, right? Seriously though, that is definitely important! Then there is the issue of if you want a Biblical name and/or a family name. Lastly, there is the meaning of the name that many people take into consideration. All of which are equally important to discuss with your significant other.

For my husband, he really likes the idea of using family names. He was not against the names I liked, thank goodness, but he did want to tweak them a bit to mirror more of those family members he wanted to honor. So we found a middle ground and compromised. Our daughter's name, Emmalyn Irene, is a perfect example of compromise, a name honoring four members of the family and a gift for two other family members, both his family and my family included in the end result. So bear with me as I break down the importance and the overall meaning of our daughter's name. (And forgive me if I tell a story wrong. I am just telling what I recall.)

Meet Emmalyn Irene Carr

She was born via C-Section on August 22 at 10:04 am in Long Beach, California. She weighed 7lbs 1oz. The doctors had to yank her pretty hard daddy said to get her out of my ribs. But she was well worth the wait, frustration, and pain. She brings us joy each day with her smiles and her squeaks. She can already lift her head pretty well for 2 weeks old and can push the lower half of her body up with her legs. She is mommy's little fighter and daddy's little climber. She is a priceless treasure in the form of a tiny child. She is perfectly beautiful just the way God created her. Meet our daughter, Emmalyn Irene Carr.

Just a couple hours old and already knowing how to pose perfectly for pictures.

A Masterpiece Worthy of Our Pause

My sweet baby girl,

I hope when you get older you learn to stop and appreciate the beauty in this world. God has painted us a masterpiece here, and I hope you never take this present for granted. Each endlessly billowing ocean, magnificently majestic mountain, perfectly sculpted flower, and carefully crafted creature were placed here for the sole purpose to remind us that we are not alone in this world but are instead placed in the hands of a loving Creator who takes His time with each of His creations.

We are not a random happenstance or a mystical mistake but are instead a timeless wonder that no scientist or theologian or astrologist will ever comprehend. David says in Psalms, "Your works are wonderful I know that full well. How vast is the sum of them! If I were to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand." Remember that, my child. God is never done doing a good work in us, around us, and through us! We are tools for His kingdom that get to partake in the beauty of His painting everyday!

As I look out on this vast ocean before me I wish I could share this view with you. A view that evokes such a calming transcendence as you hear the crash of the waves on the rock and the splash of the surf hitting the sea that one can only gaze in amazement and gather a glimpse of the thrill God must have felt when He created this world for me and you. So I hope you remember, my daughter, to smell the flowers and squish the sand between your toes, because this brings joy and laughter to the heart of God.

I would like to believe He watches over us when we stop for a moment to gaze at His masterpiece and smiles as He says, "That is it, my child, drink in the reassuring peace of my presence depicted in the beauty around you." And then I see Him pausing with us as He looks around at His painting, past the darkness and sin, and sighs a satisfying, "It is good." And I hope that it is in these moments of pause, where the world speeds on around you, that you feel His loving embrace and His reminder that "He will never leave you nor forsake you." This is my wish for you, my daughter, and I hope you will cherish these moments of pause forever in your heart and in your memories.

Love you forever. Your mommy.

(Written on May 26, 2014 while on our Babymoon in Big Sur, CA)

Butterflies & Dragonflies

This will be my last post baby girl until I get to hold you in my arms. It's crazy to think that in barely 12 hours I will be listening to your first cry and seeing your precious face for the first time. No matter if you're born with strawberry blonde hair or no hair at all, I cannot wait to kiss your sweet face, tickle your little fingers and toes, and hold you close to my skin. Daddy and I are both so excited for your arrival! How you arrive, via C-Section, is the part we are not looking forward to as neither of us are fans of hospitals and doctors, and definitely not epidurals.

But we sure are excited! Diapers and wipes are stacked neatly in the closet, clothes are washed and organized by size, crib is assembled and sturdy, car seat is in place for your first car ride home, and the nursery as a whole is looking sharp, orderly, and beautiful. Your grandmas and aunts have helped mommy prepare for your big arrival by getting the nursery in working order. Daddy even spent long hours building shelves to make your nursery orderly. Since we couldn't live in the country before you were born, we decided to bring the country to you. Take a quick peek! We will show you the rest once you arrive home. Soon you'll get to fall asleep with visions of butterflies and dragonflies dancing in your dreams.

Capturing the Moment

Maternity photos are one of those moments that can either turn out really well or end up quite awkward. Thankfully our maternity photos turned out well, and I purposefully avoided shots that had the potential to be awkward. ;) These were taken on July 20 when I was 35 weeks pregnant with you. Uncle Micah did quite a good job. I cannot wait to watch him hone and grow his skills over the next few years. Your daddy took a few, but since I required him to be in most of them, we left most of the photographing to Uncle Micah. Pictures were taken at Rancho Los Alamitos, which we will be taking you to visit at some point, and a random bench I spotted in a quiet neighborhood walkway. The day was perfect, even if I was sweating too much by the time we were done. Your daddy and uncle were quite exhausted by the end, but they were troopers in making sure we got all the pictures momma was asking for before we called it quits. It was all for you though baby girl, so it was totally worth it! :)

So walk with me as we capture the moment, have some laughs, and make some memories...

The Things I Do For You Kid...

...And you're not even born yet! Man, what a stressful time it has been these last few weeks. Between finding out you're certain to dance your way into this world and dealing with incompetent, rude doctors, mommy is exhausted in every possible way. Who knew that having a C-section would be more stressful than going into labor! I'm ready for you to be here so we can switch doctors already, and yet at the same time I am definitely nowhere near ready for you to be here. I still have so much to do and nowhere near enough time to get it all done. But amidst all the stress I have at least had some pretty good laughs, made some good memories, and have some interesting stories to tell you. For example, how I have tried to turn you or as some call it "spinning babies." Classic, good times I wouldn't change for anything! :) So here you go baby. I hope you enjoyed the exercise even if you did not turn. (This is what Grandma Pam wishes you ;)

Hot swimsuit outfit. Putting in earplugs. Good to go!

A tad bit cold.

All Girls are Princesses

There are so many things I am looking forward to doing once you arrive, baby girl. I could write up a list so long that I am not even certain this blog could contain them all. One thing though that I am looking forward to is watching all of my favorite movies with you. But, even more so than that, my all time favorite movie, apart from Disney of course which has its own category. I cannot wait until we can sit down together and watch A Little Princess. Yes, there are many versions out there, but we own my favorite version, and in my opinion the best version, but that is besides the point. Along with this, I cannot wait until you are old enough to read A Little Princess.

Both of these, especially the movie as I am a visual person, have gotten me through some tough days. There is something so peaceful and serene that even in the midst of Sara's chaotic life marked with catastrophes, she still finds the positive side of life--the smell of her hometown in India, the way angels send messages from above when we feel all alone, and the fact that all girls are princesses. Yes, that is right. "All girls are princesses, even if they live in tiny, old attics, even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't young and beautiful, ...all girls are princesses." What a great reminder when we feel down!

Please, dear daughter, do not ever forget that! No matter what life throws your way, remember that you are precious and special, a jewel that no one can replace. Your parents know that, even before you are born we know that. All of your other family knows that. And most importantly, God knows that. He created you, knit you together before we knew you were going to be filling our lives with joy (Psalm 139:13). If the world lets you down, and I promise you that it will, you can rest assured that God loves you no matter what (Psalm 89:1-2). I know there will be days this is hard to remember, but I hope that you will still never forget this wonderful fact.

If I instill any wisdom in you as a child, beautiful one, it is the fact that you are royalty, a crowned jewel, an heir to the royal throne of God (1 John 3:1-3, Romans 8:14-17). You are most precious and most beloved. You are a princess. And you have every right to claim that title as your own.

Trunk or Treat 2013, SCG

Children of God & Heirs of the Most High King

I cannot wait to celebrate Halloween with you! Our trunk was a much needed reminder for me at the time of how I am God's beloved. God must have known that in less than a year I would need this reminder so I could pass it along to my daughter. I am thrilled you will be joining us this year! :)

A Lesson From "The Giving Tree"

Dearest Daughter of Mine,

It still feels weird to say that. It's even crazier to think that in 4 weeks time I will be holding you in my arms. I just finished reading you The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I cannot wait to read books to you and then help you as you learn to read them yourself. This book reminded me of all the people who have given such wonderful gifts to you, like this book for example. I cannot wait to introduce them to you and let each of them meet you. Just like the tree in this book, these friends give and expect nothing in return. They love you that much, and they have not even met you yet!

Like the boy in this book, you will grow up one day, probably move away, and many of these friends you will most likely not speak to again, but still, you can bet that they will be praying for you and thinking of you wherever life's journey takes you. These friends will always be there as a support group, an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on. Granted, these are all my friends, but just as my mother's friends are there for me even today, so will my friends be there for you even when you are grown. They will become that stump at the end of the book, a support to lean on and take a break when life becomes too much to handle.

I hope you never forget the value of these friends and the friends you too will make. A good friend is easy to come by, but a great friend who is always there is a rare treasure. My prayer for you, sweet one, is that you find this rare treasure and never let it go. Just as I have friends I cannot live without, just as the boy could not live without the tree, so I hope you too find those friends you cannot live without. God never meant for us to journey this life alone. Remember that always.

Love,
~Your Mommy

Beckoning the Day

I'll write you a lullaby,
a song for the day,
of surfers in the ocean
and children at play,
of a world merry and bright
where angels are common
and fears are slight.
And in this lullaby
I'll sing to you at rest,
I'll hum a little tune of how
God loves and cares for you,
like a mother watching her nest.

This world is so big, my child,
and you're still so small,
but I have faith in the Father
that you'll grow strong and brave
and that through it all
you'll fight your own battles,
though scary they may seem.

For you're never alone, my child,
in a world that seems so big,
you've got me and God,
and the depths of your daydreams
to hold you through the nights
and keep you safe and still.

*To my child, may you always know you're loved, especially by God.
Written on January 17, 2014 while watching the sunset at Thousand Steps Beach, Laguna Beach, CA.

Starting Over

I love to write. My problem is that I find my writing spastic and sporadic at best, so when I decide to post something on a blog I can never decide where to start. Do I start from where I left off a year ago? Do I go back six months ago or just pick up where I am now? As I said, I love to write. I could write you a novel of the last year. The whirlwind of adventures and fun that I have had and the journeys I have taken through life, but is that really what people want to read or what I even want to write about? I cannot decide, so I sit instead staring endlessly at a computer screen hoping the right words will pop into my head so I can quickly jot them down before they are gone. And yet, the words never come. I ramble, yes, but that is just annoying nonsense. I have committed myself these past few months to thinking of what I would like to write about, where to start, and how I want to make the words come across on a computer screen. I cannot really capture emotions, though I wish this were possible in words, but I can start over.

And that is what I have decided to do. I will start over. I will commit this blog as a family blog. Yes, I said family, a family of 2 growing to 3 in a little over 5 weeks. Here I hope to record happenings in our crazy, chaotic life that is about to be filled with more chaos. An "Awful, Beautiful Life" (Darryl Worley) is what I am living here in SoCal where everyday is "Just Another Day in Paradise" (Phil Vassar), and I am grateful for each moment I get to spend with my family. We may be eating chicken and rice and suffering through piles of bills for the rest of our lives, but at least we get to do it all together.