Another Year...We're Still Here

Wow how time has passed and the year has flown by. It feels almost like yesterday that the clock struck midnight and the world celebrated the beginning of the end of the world. Now a year later we are still here and the clock is about to strike the start of a new year. (I will resist the urge to shout, I told you so! ;)

2013. Try saying that allowed. Another year for change, challenges, and chaos. A chance for New Year's Resolutions to start and end before February ;), and a sense of complacency to set in. That's the traditional style of Americans, isn't it?

But what if this year brought about a different sort of life? A life that when one looks back on the year he or she is satisfied with the outcome, an outcome of accomplishment. Is that too much to ask though? I feel for myself that the goal may be too much. Life gets crazy, and I get lazy.

Yet, maybe this year I will muster up enough energy to try and change at least my life. I want the end of the year to bring a sense of satisfaction, a sense that if I died tomorrow my life will not have been pointless, and I will have made some difference, even in the smallest way, in someone's life somewhere.

Yeah, that may be too much to ask of myself, but then again I could surprise myself. I guess only time will tell. I will keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully at least I can make it past February. ;)

Selflessly Celebrating

Three days ago on Saturday I found out a good friend of mine is pregnant. I will not use her name as she does not want it widely known just yet. As I look back my reaction shames me, though I thought it justified at the time. I feigned happiness and asked the appropriate interesting questions a friend should ask, which I did want to know, but on the inside I was asking God why her and not me. I can remember in college when we both got engaged and talked about how we would have our kids together and homeschool them together and raise our kids as friends. Yet there I stood angry because now that dream was ruined and gone. Her kids would be older and mine would be left behind. Typical of my life, was all I could think.

I came home and cried to my husband after our visit. The world was over because she was pregnant and I was not. Then he said something that made me stop my doomsday attitude: You can still get pregnant and your kids can still grow up together. That was not how we planned it, I wanted to scream back! But then my own words made me also start to rethink my perspective on this situation. And then God whispered to me through my devotion that following Sunday morning: 'Give and it will be given back to you.' (Luke 6:38) I literally laughed to myself.

No, I am not saying that verse means that if I am nice to my friend God will bless me with money so I can afford insurance and then give me a baby. No, to me this verse was a challenge for my life. I read it as God saying to me, 'Sarah, don't you trust me? I know what is best for you. Those plans in college were your plans, but these events are My plans. Don't you trust that I know best? She needs you now, plain and simple. Your time will come, but right now is her time. Rejoice and celebrate with her! Be generous in your words and efforts because it is what I have called you to do, not because you want something in return. Show me you trust me.'

That may seem like a crazy lot to get out of a verse, but I honestly believe God was saying something like that to me. So when we had dinner with my friend and her husband Sunday evening I celebrated with her and asked questions from a joy-filled heart. I am not saying the pain of not being pregnant did not arise, but I made sure to not let that pain cloud the potential of missing out on any moments of rejoicing with my friend on her new journey toward motherhood.

Think about your life. Are you missing out on being generous and loving to others as God calls us to be in Luke 6:38 because of something clouding your heart? Do not be a slave to those thoughts! Led God begin to heal your hurt today by you beginning to rejoice and celebrate with a friend or family member as they begin a newfound journey in life.

Psalm 32 Complete!

So, I haven't been very good at blogging lately, but I hope to try and do better. There is too much to update on, so I will share my good news! I have FINALLY memorized all of Psalm 32!!! I feel super accomplished. Next, after I finish my research on Psalm 32, I am going to memorize Psalm 51.

Why you may ask? Well it is believed that Psalm 51 is the precursor to Psalm 32. First one must acknowledge their sin, Psalm 51, and then that person must ask God's forgiveness, Psalm 32. These two Psalms sum up the beginning steps to a Christian life, and they are a summary of my life.

And how awesome is that!? God did not only tell us that we had to ask for forgiveness for our sins throughout the Bible, but he specifically gave us an example of one of His own servants, David that is, that failed completely but was accepted back into the flock when he repented of his sins. What hope that gives to us sinners today! God loves us enough to forgive our past, no matter the sin, and then welcome us back into His kingdom.

And that is why I am memorizing Psalms 32 & 51, for they are my constant reminder that I have failed and fallen short of God's glory, Romans 3:23, but my true repentance has given me a second chance to prove that this time I am going to live sold out only to Him!

App Downloaded!

Just downloaded a free app for Blogger on my iTouch, which is awesome by the way! I have found a way to post blogs, a bit difficult with such a small screen on this iTouch so please forgive any typos, until I get a new computer in a few months. This is a great way to test my patience though with auto correct typing things I do not want to say and my fingers pressing the wrong keys all too often, but it is not my evil computer so I think I will survive. But until my computer arrives, I have an alternative, which means hopefully I will blog more. I guess we will see how that goes ;)

The Lord is Risen! He Has Risen Indeed!

HAPPY EASTER!!! I hope today during your Easter Egg Hunts, feasting on ham, and whatever other festivities you may have planned you do not forget the real reason we have a holiday called Easter. What is that real reason you may ask? The meaning behind Easter, the reason we have Easter, began some 3,000 years ago when the Son of God, an innocent, blameless man named Jesus, was crucified on the cross for all the sins of mankind and rose three days later. Easter is the day Jesus rose from the grave, conquering sin and death, allowing us sinners to personally connect with God. This connection allows us access to Heaven when we die, if we accept Christ into our hearts. Easter is a day to celebrate because Jesus is alive! He proved to mankind that death could not hold Him, and He gave us sinners the courage to fight the fear of sin together, becoming more than conquerors through Christ.

Easter in a few sentences? One Light invaded the darkness, and that one Life changed the world because Darkness could not snuff the Light out. The Life had spread His light too far and too deep into the hearts of mankind. On Easter we celebrate His life, because life for us is worth living because He rose and lives today!

Have a Blessed Easter!!! And never forget the real reason we have Easter to celebrate today.

R.I.P. Thomas Kinkade

Thomas Kinkade. Painter of Light. Instilled Hope & Inspiration through Artwork. Changed Lives by His Talent.

Thomas Kinkade is one of my favorite painters of all time. Each piece of work is a masterpiece, a scavenger hunt, and a chance to open your Bible and read an inspiring passage. It is a tragedy that he passed away so early in life, but it is a blessing that he left such an inspiring, Christian legacy behind him. I am sad that I was never able to make it to one of his art shows, where he would sign paintings and add touch ups to paintings you already owned. My Aunt and Uncle have one of those. I would be lying if I said I was not jealous. I guess that is one thing my mom and I will never be able to cross off our bucket list. I hope at least that I will one day own one of his paintings, in particular his "Blessings of Christmas", my absolute favorite, which I have included below.

"Blessings of Christmas" by Thomas Kinkade

Celebrate Christ's Death

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!!!!!!! Today Christ may have died, but do not forget He will rise in 3 days. Today is the day He gave up His place in Heaven to become sinners like us so we may live again. Remember that today. Celebrate that today. Praise the Lord that He became sin for us so we may know His righteousness!!! (2 Corinthians 5:21) I am ecstatic I have such an awesome and humble Savior. Join with me in celebration on this Good Friday!

Smile! God Loves You!

Learning to Be the Light by Newworldson

My song for the day. You try listening to this song without smiling. I find it the perfect pick-me-up when your day is going absolutely horrid. Enjoy :)

Lyrics in case you were wondering, can be hard to understand at times:

When the stars came crashing down
In tiny pieces to the ground
I was all alone down here
Trapped beneath the atmosphere
Then I, thought somebody called my name
I spun around and caught a flame
I gave into a God I didn't know
And now everything is falling into place
A brand new life is calling and I owe it all to grace

It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we stumble and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa

When a heart is cold as ice
You can't melt it with advice
No one wants to listen to
A list of things they shouldn't do
So I build a city on a hill
And I light a candle on the sill
Knowing you'll be always knocking at the door
Oh God I just want to love on everyone
All I have is yours to give so let the people come

It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we stumble and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
im learning to be the light

that makes the shadows hide
the light that breaks the curse of pride
the light that takes the weary in it's arms

When it all came crashing down
There was only darkness all around
But in the distance I could see
A flame

It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone, and I mean everyone to see
When we stumble and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light!!

My Destined Song

Our God Is Greater by Chris Tomlin

For the month of March I gave up two things until Easter: Soda and Country Music. I do not drink soda very much but the cravings are still there. But I live and breathe Country music. It is my go to place when I am depressed, angry, or frustrated. Country music makes the hurt go away and brings the smile back to my face. It has been a hard past few weeks, but I am glad for the switch. I have learned to love The Fish, 95.9. It brings a joy, peace, and satisfaction about life I have never felt before. The above song is a song that I feel speaks specifically to my life right now and one that I have enjoyed cranking up to full volume whenever it comes on over the radio. I still love Country music, but I have found a more satisfying peace in God than in the pain of a lost love or revenge, which many Country songs sing about. If the link does not work you should look the song up yourself, definitely is worth your time.

From Damaged to Destined

WOW!!! How time flies! I feel as if I was just toasting to the New Years, blinked, and then it was April. The past two months have been crazy, stressful, and yet rejuvenating in a way that is hard to describe. Over the past three months I have been going through A Confident Heart by Renee Swope with my Biblestudy group. What an incredible book filled with hope to overcome our past mistakes and let God use those mistakes for His glory. I would recommend the book to every woman out there who has ever felt despaired, forgotten, and/or wondered if God really does care.

This book has helped me gain a confidence about myself and a reassurance that God is out there with a plan specifically for my life. I may not know His plan just yet, but I am confident that placing my burdens at His feet will help me eventually become in the loop, so to speak. I am not saying I am a completely confident woman because I read this book, but I can guarantee that I am a growing confident woman in Christ because of this book. One of my favorite parts of this book is Renee challenged us to plan a DATE (Determine A Time Everyday) with God. What I loved about the idea is that I could do something different everyday to spend time with God. I did not have to get up every morning at a specific time and attempt to not fall asleep over my coffee while trying to listen for God to speak to me. Yeah, I have been told that before, but the way she explained her ideas made me feel more confident that I could do the same as well.

So I started reading passages and searching for verses that I felt spoke to my life and circumstances specifically. I stumbled across Psalm 32, a passage suggested by an old professor and mentor of mine when I was going through a tough time a few months back. I had put the passage aside and told myself I would read it later. Well later came, and I was finally ready to hear the words that God had been trying to communicate to me my whole life. I was forgiven! God was my shelter, my strength, and my deliverer from evil. I need not fear with God by my side. And now I have committed my quiet times to reading this passage, searching out how I can specifically use this chapter to help others, and memorizing all eleven verses. I work well with guidelines and tasks that I feel I can accomplish. I believe that this is a good start to a great journey of a wonderful life that God has planned just for me.

No the journey will not be easy. Satan will fight, and is fighting, for me to return to him, but this time I have a weapon that can move the mountains, and I am not afraid. I am more than a conqueror. And with Christ by my side I am certain that no matter the troubles that are waiting ahead I will become the godly, confident woman He destined from the beginning of time I would become.

Red & Khaki, Red & Khaki

Update! Update! Update!!! I got the job at Target! It definitely is not my dream job by any fat chance, but it is a job that pays decent, and I am very appreciative of that fact. With Target & Tutoring & Ben finally getting some gigs we actually paid this month's rent fully out of pocket. We did not have to break into the savings at all! We are slowly, but surely, climbing out of the red and into the black, I think that is the term they use for good, do not quote me on it though. God is good. It has been a long, difficult journey to get where we are today, but every step is worth the memories we make. Here's to a better and brighter February! :)

Come What May on Saturday

All I am saying right now is do not let Saturday come! Do not let Saturday come! Yet, at the same time it would be nice if tomorrow was Saturday. I just want to know if Target is keeping me or not! Is that too much to ask??? I am freaking out here! I really, really need this job but at the same time if God wants me elsewhere that is fine too; I just want to know already! I can barely sleep at night because I am so stressed and worried that I may not have a job come next week. Money rules the world, that is true, but I so wish life did not have to be this way. I pray that I can somehow trust God to take care of my life, my job, and my future. I have no control over this and no amount of stress will make this process easier, stressing over little things only makes things worse unfortunately. So, I am giving my job and my financial situation to God. Whatever happens this weekend or next week is all in His plan, even if it does not make sense to me.

The Beginning of the End???

Welcome to the New Year & the End of the World! What is your opinion of that matter? Do you really think the world will end this coming December? I personally believe that the world will end the day after just to throw everyone off their rockers, haha. :) No but seriously, I think the idea of the world ending is preposterous! God said in the Bible that we would not know the day or the time that He was to come back to Earth. The fact that we know the Mayan calendar ended on that day is merely just another mystery we may never be able to answer, but I highly doubt that the end of the world will happen on that December day, the 23 or whatever is the date.

Either way, I have set some goals for my life this year which I intend to strive toward and achieve, whether the world ends or not. I do not personally like the sound of "My New Year's Resolution" so I go with my goals for the year. They are optional ideas that I will strive to achieve with no outside pressure from other people, at least that is how I see the concept. So my goals for this 2012 year are this:

1. Read my Bible & Exercise at least 3x a week.
2. Figure out what God wants for my life & strive to achieve whatever that may be.
3. Finally make & finish a scrapbook of our wedding.
4. Actually write a Christmas letter.
5. Be more organized, especially in my room.
6. Blog at least 7x a month.
7. Be a better person in general, a person that I am proud of and would be proud to show off to the world and have my future children call mom.

What are your goals for this year? Whether you accomplish them or not is besides the point; the idea that you are striving toward something is what matters the most. So write up some goals today! Or write them up in February! Or change them each month! What matters is that you make a conscious decision that this year is your year to make a difference and change into that person you have always desired to be, that person hidden deep down inside of you longing to spread its wings and fly. It may seem like a challenge at first but how much sweeter is the triumph when you step onto that mountain peak and can see just how far you have come since the beginning of your journey. So put your past year behind, make some goals, and start your climb to the top today!

Ending a Year & Starting a Year on A Happy Note

December ended on a great note and January started on a great note, so far my year has been good in short. There were 23 of us on Christmas day. It was an amazing time to catch up with family I have not seen in awhile, my cousin and his fiancee have been gone the longest, a looong seven years. It was so great to see them again. They have been in town but I was always busy with school or work and could not make it to San Diego to see him, sad as it was. This Christmas was a family reunion, not the whole family, but a good portion of us, because we all realized my grandparent's health is steadily declining and decided this Christmas needed to be spent with them. Their house is small and it was very noisy, but that just meant being forced to spend more time with each other. I would not have preferred Christmas any other way.

January started off to a great start as my best friend Bekah was back in town for the Christmas season to visit family. She is currently in Iowa at a Nursing school. I showed up to her house on Christmas Eve with a surprise visit just to chat for a few minutes before heading to see my family. Words cannot express the joy and happiness I felt at seeing her again, and it had only been barely five months, unless you count the couple skype dates then it was less, but those were not in person so it is technically different. Man how I love that girl! She knows every secret of my life and the fact that she has not judged me is proof enough to me that she is a friend that is hard to find and definitely one you do not want to lose. We then met for breakfast the Wednesday after Christmas and spent 3 long hours catching up on life. Then on January 10 she came up to LA and stayed the night. I loved seeing her one last time before she went back to Iowa. It was really awesome that she gave up one of her last nights visiting to hangout with me.

So besides my computer being a pain, wondering if I still am going to have a job at the end of January, and trying to figure out where the forest of money trees are, my life is going quite well here in Sunny California.