Dearest Daughter of Mine,
It still feels weird to say that. It's even crazier to think that in 4 weeks time I will be holding you in my arms. I just finished reading you The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I cannot wait to read books to you and then help you as you learn to read them yourself. This book reminded me of all the people who have given such wonderful gifts to you, like this book for example. I cannot wait to introduce them to you and let each of them meet you. Just like the tree in this book, these friends give and expect nothing in return. They love you that much, and they have not even met you yet!
Like the boy in this book, you will grow up one day, probably move away, and many of these friends you will most likely not speak to again, but still, you can bet that they will be praying for you and thinking of you wherever life's journey takes you. These friends will always be there as a support group, an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on. Granted, these are all my friends, but just as my mother's friends are there for me even today, so will my friends be there for you even when you are grown. They will become that stump at the end of the book, a support to lean on and take a break when life becomes too much to handle.
I hope you never forget the value of these friends and the friends you too will make. A good friend is easy to come by, but a great friend who is always there is a rare treasure. My prayer for you, sweet one, is that you find this rare treasure and never let it go. Just as I have friends I cannot live without, just as the boy could not live without the tree, so I hope you too find those friends you cannot live without. God never meant for us to journey this life alone. Remember that always.
Love,
~Your Mommy
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Beckoning the Day
I'll write you a lullaby,
a song for the day,
of surfers in the ocean
and children at play,
of a world merry and bright
where angels are common
and fears are slight.
And in this lullaby
I'll sing to you at rest,
I'll hum a little tune of how
God loves and cares for you,
like a mother watching her nest.
This world is so big, my child,
and you're still so small,
but I have faith in the Father
that you'll grow strong and brave
and that through it all
you'll fight your own battles,
though scary they may seem.
For you're never alone, my child,
in a world that seems so big,
you've got me and God,
and the depths of your daydreams
to hold you through the nights
and keep you safe and still.
*To my child, may you always know you're loved, especially by God.
Written on January 17, 2014 while watching the sunset at Thousand Steps Beach, Laguna Beach, CA.
a song for the day,
of surfers in the ocean
and children at play,
of a world merry and bright
where angels are common
and fears are slight.
And in this lullaby
I'll sing to you at rest,
I'll hum a little tune of how
God loves and cares for you,
like a mother watching her nest.
This world is so big, my child,
and you're still so small,
but I have faith in the Father
that you'll grow strong and brave
and that through it all
you'll fight your own battles,
though scary they may seem.
For you're never alone, my child,
in a world that seems so big,
you've got me and God,
and the depths of your daydreams
to hold you through the nights
and keep you safe and still.
*To my child, may you always know you're loved, especially by God.
Written on January 17, 2014 while watching the sunset at Thousand Steps Beach, Laguna Beach, CA.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Starting Over
I love to write. My problem is that I find my writing spastic and sporadic at best, so when I decide to post something on a blog I can never decide where to start. Do I start from where I left off a year ago? Do I go back six months ago or just pick up where I am now? As I said, I love to write. I could write you a novel of the last year. The whirlwind of adventures and fun that I have had and the journeys I have taken through life, but is that really what people want to read or what I even want to write about? I cannot decide, so I sit instead staring endlessly at a computer screen hoping the right words will pop into my head so I can quickly jot them down before they are gone. And yet, the words never come. I ramble, yes, but that is just annoying nonsense. I have committed myself these past few months to thinking of what I would like to write about, where to start, and how I want to make the words come across on a computer screen. I cannot really capture emotions, though I wish this were possible in words, but I can start over.
And that is what I have decided to do. I will start over. I will commit this blog as a family blog. Yes, I said family, a family of 2 growing to 3 in a little over 5 weeks. Here I hope to record happenings in our crazy, chaotic life that is about to be filled with more chaos. An "Awful, Beautiful Life" (Darryl Worley) is what I am living here in SoCal where everyday is "Just Another Day in Paradise" (Phil Vassar), and I am grateful for each moment I get to spend with my family. We may be eating chicken and rice and suffering through piles of bills for the rest of our lives, but at least we get to do it all together.
And that is what I have decided to do. I will start over. I will commit this blog as a family blog. Yes, I said family, a family of 2 growing to 3 in a little over 5 weeks. Here I hope to record happenings in our crazy, chaotic life that is about to be filled with more chaos. An "Awful, Beautiful Life" (Darryl Worley) is what I am living here in SoCal where everyday is "Just Another Day in Paradise" (Phil Vassar), and I am grateful for each moment I get to spend with my family. We may be eating chicken and rice and suffering through piles of bills for the rest of our lives, but at least we get to do it all together.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
God's Guidance Through Change
WOW!!! Has it really been 5 months since I have last posted??? Well it sure has been a crazy 5 months! I have moved, started school, witnessed two friends celebrate their recommitment of vows, celebrated my sister's upcoming wedding by throwing her a shower tea, lost 2 individuals I cared about deeply, celebrated my friend's and my sister's graduation, and finished my certificate for school. Talk about a whirlwind!
And amidst that all I hit rock bottom and found God. Yes, that sounds cheesy, but it is true. When at your lowest is when God will bring you the highest. He will lift you from the depths of your darkest days and set you on a mountain where the view will be so clear you will only be able to fall to your knees and cover your eyes because of all the beauty around you. While on my knees, amidst my tears, I finally surrendered to God my life, my desires, my dreams, and I let Him show me His desires and dreams for my life. What a crazy ride that has been! My best friend told me that life without me would not be the same, and that she needed me just as much as I needed her, or something to that extent. So, I have been trying to maintain a positive outlook.
To many it is hard to see the change occurring inside of me, but I can feel it in the depths of my soul. For the first time in my life I feel happy, truly happy, which is ironic since all I want to do is cry. I recently lost my grandpa, my dad's dad, and my beloved cat Princess. I really just want to crawl into a hole in die, which is what I would have done three months ago, but today I feel there is hope and that God has a plan for everything that happens in my life. Looking at my life in February to where I am today, I can only laugh. It is truly amazing how much God can change your life if you let Him!
How has He specifically changed me? Well, for starters, I am taking over my Biblestudy in the Fall as the Leader. Me!? A Leader!? LOL!!! That is definitely something I never saw coming! I like to fade into the background and remain there, but God has decided to push me out of the shadows and into His light. Am I terrified? Absolutely! Am I thrilled? Strangely Yes! And the excitement over what God has in store for me is stronger than the terror that flits around my mind, and that, my friends, is what I consider God speaking to me. I feel courageous and am ready to no longer let my past bind me to the ground.
God's got a plan friends! Live despite your past! And let your past be a light to guide you to the men and women that God wants you to impact for His Kingdom. He's knocking. Answer! He's got something far greater in store for you than you can ever imagine! Look at me. I am leading a study. Me! The shy, independent, stubborn girl who has always lurked in the shadows. But no longer! I am breaking free and stepping into the light, and all I can do is let God lead me, because it is bright here in the open and without God I will be lost.
And amidst that all I hit rock bottom and found God. Yes, that sounds cheesy, but it is true. When at your lowest is when God will bring you the highest. He will lift you from the depths of your darkest days and set you on a mountain where the view will be so clear you will only be able to fall to your knees and cover your eyes because of all the beauty around you. While on my knees, amidst my tears, I finally surrendered to God my life, my desires, my dreams, and I let Him show me His desires and dreams for my life. What a crazy ride that has been! My best friend told me that life without me would not be the same, and that she needed me just as much as I needed her, or something to that extent. So, I have been trying to maintain a positive outlook.
To many it is hard to see the change occurring inside of me, but I can feel it in the depths of my soul. For the first time in my life I feel happy, truly happy, which is ironic since all I want to do is cry. I recently lost my grandpa, my dad's dad, and my beloved cat Princess. I really just want to crawl into a hole in die, which is what I would have done three months ago, but today I feel there is hope and that God has a plan for everything that happens in my life. Looking at my life in February to where I am today, I can only laugh. It is truly amazing how much God can change your life if you let Him!
How has He specifically changed me? Well, for starters, I am taking over my Biblestudy in the Fall as the Leader. Me!? A Leader!? LOL!!! That is definitely something I never saw coming! I like to fade into the background and remain there, but God has decided to push me out of the shadows and into His light. Am I terrified? Absolutely! Am I thrilled? Strangely Yes! And the excitement over what God has in store for me is stronger than the terror that flits around my mind, and that, my friends, is what I consider God speaking to me. I feel courageous and am ready to no longer let my past bind me to the ground.
God's got a plan friends! Live despite your past! And let your past be a light to guide you to the men and women that God wants you to impact for His Kingdom. He's knocking. Answer! He's got something far greater in store for you than you can ever imagine! Look at me. I am leading a study. Me! The shy, independent, stubborn girl who has always lurked in the shadows. But no longer! I am breaking free and stepping into the light, and all I can do is let God lead me, because it is bright here in the open and without God I will be lost.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Another Year...We're Still Here
Wow how time has passed and the year has flown by. It feels almost like yesterday that the clock struck midnight and the world celebrated the beginning of the end of the world. Now a year later we are still here and the clock is about to strike the start of a new year. (I will resist the urge to shout, I told you so! ;)
2013. Try saying that allowed. Another year for change, challenges, and chaos. A chance for New Year's Resolutions to start and end before February ;), and a sense of complacency to set in. That's the traditional style of Americans, isn't it?
But what if this year brought about a different sort of life? A life that when one looks back on the year he or she is satisfied with the outcome, an outcome of accomplishment. Is that too much to ask though? I feel for myself that the goal may be too much. Life gets crazy, and I get lazy.
Yet, maybe this year I will muster up enough energy to try and change at least my life. I want the end of the year to bring a sense of satisfaction, a sense that if I died tomorrow my life will not have been pointless, and I will have made some difference, even in the smallest way, in someone's life somewhere.
Yeah, that may be too much to ask of myself, but then again I could surprise myself. I guess only time will tell. I will keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully at least I can make it past February. ;)
2013. Try saying that allowed. Another year for change, challenges, and chaos. A chance for New Year's Resolutions to start and end before February ;), and a sense of complacency to set in. That's the traditional style of Americans, isn't it?
But what if this year brought about a different sort of life? A life that when one looks back on the year he or she is satisfied with the outcome, an outcome of accomplishment. Is that too much to ask though? I feel for myself that the goal may be too much. Life gets crazy, and I get lazy.
Yet, maybe this year I will muster up enough energy to try and change at least my life. I want the end of the year to bring a sense of satisfaction, a sense that if I died tomorrow my life will not have been pointless, and I will have made some difference, even in the smallest way, in someone's life somewhere.
Yeah, that may be too much to ask of myself, but then again I could surprise myself. I guess only time will tell. I will keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully at least I can make it past February. ;)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Selflessly Celebrating
Three days ago on Saturday I found out a good friend of mine is pregnant. I will not use her name as she does not want it widely known just yet. As I look back my reaction shames me, though I thought it justified at the time. I feigned happiness and asked the appropriate interesting questions a friend should ask, which I did want to know, but on the inside I was asking God why her and not me. I can remember in college when we both got engaged and talked about how we would have our kids together and homeschool them together and raise our kids as friends. Yet there I stood angry because now that dream was ruined and gone. Her kids would be older and mine would be left behind. Typical of my life, was all I could think.
I came home and cried to my husband after our visit. The world was over because she was pregnant and I was not. Then he said something that made me stop my doomsday attitude: You can still get pregnant and your kids can still grow up together. That was not how we planned it, I wanted to scream back! But then my own words made me also start to rethink my perspective on this situation. And then God whispered to me through my devotion that following Sunday morning: 'Give and it will be given back to you.' (Luke 6:38) I literally laughed to myself.
No, I am not saying that verse means that if I am nice to my friend God will bless me with money so I can afford insurance and then give me a baby. No, to me this verse was a challenge for my life. I read it as God saying to me, 'Sarah, don't you trust me? I know what is best for you. Those plans in college were your plans, but these events are My plans. Don't you trust that I know best? She needs you now, plain and simple. Your time will come, but right now is her time. Rejoice and celebrate with her! Be generous in your words and efforts because it is what I have called you to do, not because you want something in return. Show me you trust me.'
That may seem like a crazy lot to get out of a verse, but I honestly believe God was saying something like that to me. So when we had dinner with my friend and her husband Sunday evening I celebrated with her and asked questions from a joy-filled heart. I am not saying the pain of not being pregnant did not arise, but I made sure to not let that pain cloud the potential of missing out on any moments of rejoicing with my friend on her new journey toward motherhood.
Think about your life. Are you missing out on being generous and loving to others as God calls us to be in Luke 6:38 because of something clouding your heart? Do not be a slave to those thoughts! Led God begin to heal your hurt today by you beginning to rejoice and celebrate with a friend or family member as they begin a newfound journey in life.
I came home and cried to my husband after our visit. The world was over because she was pregnant and I was not. Then he said something that made me stop my doomsday attitude: You can still get pregnant and your kids can still grow up together. That was not how we planned it, I wanted to scream back! But then my own words made me also start to rethink my perspective on this situation. And then God whispered to me through my devotion that following Sunday morning: 'Give and it will be given back to you.' (Luke 6:38) I literally laughed to myself.
No, I am not saying that verse means that if I am nice to my friend God will bless me with money so I can afford insurance and then give me a baby. No, to me this verse was a challenge for my life. I read it as God saying to me, 'Sarah, don't you trust me? I know what is best for you. Those plans in college were your plans, but these events are My plans. Don't you trust that I know best? She needs you now, plain and simple. Your time will come, but right now is her time. Rejoice and celebrate with her! Be generous in your words and efforts because it is what I have called you to do, not because you want something in return. Show me you trust me.'
That may seem like a crazy lot to get out of a verse, but I honestly believe God was saying something like that to me. So when we had dinner with my friend and her husband Sunday evening I celebrated with her and asked questions from a joy-filled heart. I am not saying the pain of not being pregnant did not arise, but I made sure to not let that pain cloud the potential of missing out on any moments of rejoicing with my friend on her new journey toward motherhood.
Think about your life. Are you missing out on being generous and loving to others as God calls us to be in Luke 6:38 because of something clouding your heart? Do not be a slave to those thoughts! Led God begin to heal your hurt today by you beginning to rejoice and celebrate with a friend or family member as they begin a newfound journey in life.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Psalm 32 Complete!
So, I haven't been very good at blogging lately, but I hope to try and do better. There is too much to update on, so I will share my good news! I have FINALLY memorized all of Psalm 32!!! I feel super accomplished. Next, after I finish my research on Psalm 32, I am going to memorize Psalm 51.
Why you may ask? Well it is believed that Psalm 51 is the precursor to Psalm 32. First one must acknowledge their sin, Psalm 51, and then that person must ask God's forgiveness, Psalm 32. These two Psalms sum up the beginning steps to a Christian life, and they are a summary of my life.
And how awesome is that!? God did not only tell us that we had to ask for forgiveness for our sins throughout the Bible, but he specifically gave us an example of one of His own servants, David that is, that failed completely but was accepted back into the flock when he repented of his sins. What hope that gives to us sinners today! God loves us enough to forgive our past, no matter the sin, and then welcome us back into His kingdom.
And that is why I am memorizing Psalms 32 & 51, for they are my constant reminder that I have failed and fallen short of God's glory, Romans 3:23, but my true repentance has given me a second chance to prove that this time I am going to live sold out only to Him!
Why you may ask? Well it is believed that Psalm 51 is the precursor to Psalm 32. First one must acknowledge their sin, Psalm 51, and then that person must ask God's forgiveness, Psalm 32. These two Psalms sum up the beginning steps to a Christian life, and they are a summary of my life.
And how awesome is that!? God did not only tell us that we had to ask for forgiveness for our sins throughout the Bible, but he specifically gave us an example of one of His own servants, David that is, that failed completely but was accepted back into the flock when he repented of his sins. What hope that gives to us sinners today! God loves us enough to forgive our past, no matter the sin, and then welcome us back into His kingdom.
And that is why I am memorizing Psalms 32 & 51, for they are my constant reminder that I have failed and fallen short of God's glory, Romans 3:23, but my true repentance has given me a second chance to prove that this time I am going to live sold out only to Him!
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