Three days ago on Saturday I found out a good friend of mine is pregnant. I will not use her name as she does not want it widely known just yet. As I look back my reaction shames me, though I thought it justified at the time. I feigned happiness and asked the appropriate interesting questions a friend should ask, which I did want to know, but on the inside I was asking God why her and not me. I can remember in college when we both got engaged and talked about how we would have our kids together and homeschool them together and raise our kids as friends. Yet there I stood angry because now that dream was ruined and gone. Her kids would be older and mine would be left behind. Typical of my life, was all I could think.
I came home and cried to my husband after our visit. The world was over because she was pregnant and I was not. Then he said something that made me stop my doomsday attitude: You can still get pregnant and your kids can still grow up together. That was not how we planned it, I wanted to scream back! But then my own words made me also start to rethink my perspective on this situation. And then God whispered to me through my devotion that following Sunday morning: 'Give and it will be given back to you.' (Luke 6:38) I literally laughed to myself.
No, I am not saying that verse means that if I am nice to my friend God will bless me with money so I can afford insurance and then give me a baby. No, to me this verse was a challenge for my life. I read it as God saying to me, 'Sarah, don't you trust me? I know what is best for you. Those plans in college were your plans, but these events are My plans. Don't you trust that I know best? She needs you now, plain and simple. Your time will come, but right now is her time. Rejoice and celebrate with her! Be generous in your words and efforts because it is what I have called you to do, not because you want something in return. Show me you trust me.'
That may seem like a crazy lot to get out of a verse, but I honestly believe God was saying something like that to me. So when we had dinner with my friend and her husband Sunday evening I celebrated with her and asked questions from a joy-filled heart. I am not saying the pain of not being pregnant did not arise, but I made sure to not let that pain cloud the potential of missing out on any moments of rejoicing with my friend on her new journey toward motherhood.
Think about your life. Are you missing out on being generous and loving to others as God calls us to be in Luke 6:38 because of something clouding your heart? Do not be a slave to those thoughts! Led God begin to heal your hurt today by you beginning to rejoice and celebrate with a friend or family member as they begin a newfound journey in life.
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