A classic example of indecisiveness is a family or a group of friends heading out for the evening to get something to eat. Before they leave a huge debate usually ensues on where to go for food. "I don't really care. What do you want?" What a typical response. When in reality your mind is saying something like, "I'd prefer to go to the local bar down the street but I know you don't really like that place so I guess we can go somewhere you'd like". Have you been in a situation like this? Each of us knows what we want, at least most of the time, it's a fact we cannot hide, but the hard part is stating it aloud and accepting any ridicule that may follow. After multiple responses of the same thing again and again, a place is usually decided upon to eat, sometimes a completely different place because none in the party could decide upon those suggested. At this point thirty minutes, sometimes even an hour, has gone by and the precious few hours you had to hang out are swiftly disappearing. I have a friend who told me that once it took her group of friends so long to decide on a place that by the time a place was decided on they all had other things they needed to go and do, so they never made it to the restaurant they had finally decided on. What a waste of time! It makes a lot more sense to be proactive and make a decision!
Yet, I really am not the one to speak on this subject. I have the worse time at deciding things. I am so bad at times that I war with myself on whether I should vacuum or take out the trash first. I usually go with the dishes because it seems like the easiest thing to decide on. They're just sitting there staring at me. ; ) As I look back on my life I feel as if I have missed out on sooo many opportunities because I could not come to a conclusion on one matter or another. Still today I miss out on opportunities because I have trouble voicing what I want in a decisive manner.
What I find really funny about decision making is that sometimes even after a decision is made there is still debate on whether the conclusion is actually a good idea. My older sister, Rachel, and I are a perfect example. My younger sister, Bekah, is coming up to visit us. I am to pick Bekah up from the train and give her to my sister, who is at work. Rachel's work is about thirty minutes from my house. We argue/debate over where to meet so we can make the swap. I can tell my sister is busy and on a tight schedule, the two of them are going to Wicked later that night, so I tell her I will drive her to work and drop off Bekah. Rachel tells me that sounds good, but then continues to ask me if I am certain that is okay, because if she needs to meet halfway she can do that. Even after dropping Bekah off Rachel still asks to make sure we were okay with driving the whole thirty minutes to her work. Of course we were! We are here, aren't we? We decided that was what we thought best and knew that was what she wanted even if she did not realize it. All that to say that indecisiveness is an unhealthy aspect to any relationship. State what you want. Make a decision. Grow closer in your relationship with your family, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, and spouses.
I challenge you to try today to make a decision about something you really do want, hopefully a good, healthy one, especially if you are a perpetually indecisive person like myself. The result could make a tremendous change in your life. Yes, some decisions need to be thought over before they are made, but those decisions I am referring to above are ones that we encounter on a daily basis. So go, take courage and have faith, make a decision by stating what you want today, and start growing your relationship to a better future. I will try and do the same. We all have much to learn. Let us start at the beginning and grow together as we try to conquer the battle of indecisiveness. Maybe after our victory we can conquer procrastination! (Or maybe not... ; )
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